I love these people!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Cuz, I'm such the expert

Last night I was chatting with a friend whose oldest child has just started second grade CCD. For those of you who don’t rotate in Catholic circles, CCD is religious education and second grade is big; it’s the year that culminates in their First Communion and with that comes a WHOLE lot of memorization of many things religious.

Noni is very stressed over her son’s lack of focus and apparent inability to memorize the entire book of Exodus. Kid-ding. But she was seriously worried that he was sliding straight to hell because he couldn’t remember the Our Father (Lord’s Prayer to many of us).

I was a bit surprised to realize that she was looking for pointers… from ME! True, I am a veteran mother of 2 fully Catholocized offspring, but remember I am a Protestant – I only pretend to be a Catholic. Okay, I’m not trying to fool anybody. I just go along with the family because I really do like the peeps. They are very cool and where else can you get wine with your spaghetti dinner… at CHURCH? And every time they do ANYTHING, there is cake! The really good Costco kind.

Well, anydoodle, soon she had me stumbling down memory lane back to the days when I would be cleaning the kitchen after dinner and the girls would be sitting on a stool practicing their church stuff. The Lord’s Prayer went pretty well, once we got the ‘Our Father who AREN’T in heaven…’ part fixed.

Some of the other things were also the same as I had learned, however, I knew I was going to have to pay a bit more attention when my oldest was working on her ‘Hail Mary’ because even a lapsed Lutheran can recognize that ‘… fruit of the loom, Jesus Christ’ is probably not the proper wording.

Definitely the good old days.

So, I told her not to worry because they still have 6 months to get it all down and it will come to him just like everything else has. He's a smart boy and soon the peer pressure and evil eye of his catechist will conspire to 'motivate' him more than a mere mother can.

What I wanted to say was “Honey, you better relax because you are going to need to save every single wit for when your high school kid has to read ‘The Scarlet Letter’ and he begs you to help him decipher all that is written in so unclear a language as to give one the vapors, which is to say that you findeth the punishment so unusual and cruel as to suck the blood from your brain and goodness from your soul.”

Yeah! I know! Kind of makes that memorization stuff look like a piece of cake… the good Costco cake.


Nadine Hightower said...

The cake I bought at Sam's was a hit for the birthday party. It was vanilla cake with strawberries on top....it was soooo good!!

If you take it outta the package and put it in a cake dish...who will know??

Anonymous said...

Wine with spaghetti dinner? Where do I sign up? :)

Miss Thystle said...

For wine and cake even *I* will go to church! All the Catholic church I used to go to ever gave me was a headache from the insense and a sore butt from the pews.

MizAngie said...

Besos es kisses. Or, as Shupe calls 'em...tisses. Ha!

I'm glad I grew up Catholic Lite (Methodist). You learn the Apostle's Creed and you're done. Not only that but they don't test ya on it so you can kinda mumble through it with the entire congregation. No real wine, tho, unless the bottle of Welchs grape juice lived in the Church fridge too long. Ha! "Is that mold?" "Just drink it and shut up!"

I feel about supporting McCain like I would a retarded cousin. I'll make fun of him but I won't want any other country doing it. {sigh}

The Lady in Pearls said...

Yes, I finally gave into the peer pressure and came over! I'm such a wimp and hate not to be with the "in" crowd!

How do you see who's been on your blog though? I don't know if I can live without the stats!!!!

Ok, so I guess I should go read why you are such an expert. I'm sure there's something to learn there!

Take care,
No more guessing, it's The Lady in Pearls!

The Lady in Pearls said...

I wish I was an expert. My MIL will not let me live it down that Wally never got confirmed - and hold your breathe now - he's leaning towards the Methodist faith. Surely I'm condemned to Hell.

My feeling is, he believes in God and goes to church - WILLINGLY! I say St. Peter will surely open those Pearly Gates and let me in for raising such a fine boy. Even if he is a Methodist!

Diane said...

I laughed out loud at the '... who aren't in heaven...' and '...fruit of the loom...' bits! Too funny.

Proto said...

We need another bottle over here...

sleepdeprivedmomma said...

Teaching First Grade Sunday School (and now Kindergarten again) I get so tickled with the things the kids "hear" in different things like The Lord's Prayer, The Apostles Creed, and Psalm 23. I don't think I ever would have been a good Catholic girl. It's highly questionable if I would have ever made it through Catechism. In fact, I think I may have been excommunicated before it was over with. I was far too distractable and I have always been full of questions. Must be why I love my little ones. They ask the BEST questions and, although I follow along with the teachers guides and stories to answer them, I still get the giggles.

Lorrie Veasey said...

I had a friend who used to say if they just couldn't get the Catholic stuff down pat, that they could always be Episcopilian.

Myself- I am a Congregationalist. We of the Church of Teenage Youth Choir Sleep Aways, where most kids learn about french kissing for the first time.

Debbie said...

Oh why did you stop by my blog? Now I've gone and visited you - loved everything I have read - and added you to my reader. You are a riot. And yes, we Catholics do like a little fruit of the vine.