Last night I was chatting with a friend whose oldest child has just started second grade CCD. For those of you who don’t rotate in Catholic circles, CCD is religious education and second grade is big; it’s the year that culminates in their First Communion and with that comes a WHOLE lot of memorization of many things religious.
Noni is very stressed over her son’s lack of focus and apparent inability to memorize the entire book of Exodus. Kid-ding. But she was seriously worried that he was sliding straight to hell because he couldn’t remember the Our Father (Lord’s Prayer to many of us).
I was a bit surprised to realize that she was looking for pointers… from ME! True, I am a veteran mother of 2 fully Catholocized offspring, but remember I am a Protestant – I only pretend to be a Catholic. Okay, I’m not trying to fool anybody. I just go along with the family because I really do like the peeps. They are very cool and where else can you get wine with your spaghetti dinner… at CHURCH? And every time they do ANYTHING, there is cake! The really good Costco kind.
Well, anydoodle, soon she had me stumbling down memory lane back to the days when I would be cleaning the kitchen after dinner and the girls would be sitting on a stool practicing their church stuff. The Lord’s Prayer went pretty well, once we got the ‘Our Father who AREN’T in heaven…’ part fixed.
Some of the other things were also the same as I had learned, however, I knew I was going to have to pay a bit more attention when my oldest was working on her ‘Hail Mary’ because even a lapsed Lutheran can recognize that ‘… fruit of the loom, Jesus Christ’ is probably not the proper wording.
Definitely the good old days.
So, I told her not to worry because they still have 6 months to get it all down and it will come to him just like everything else has. He's a smart boy and soon the peer pressure and evil eye of his catechist will conspire to 'motivate' him more than a mere mother can.
What I wanted to say was “Honey, you better relax because you are going to need to save every single wit for when your high school kid has to read ‘The Scarlet Letter’ and he begs you to help him decipher all that is written in so unclear a language as to give one the vapors, which is to say that you findeth the punishment so unusual and cruel as to suck the blood from your brain and goodness from your soul.”
Yeah! I know! Kind of makes that memorization stuff look like a piece of cake… the good Costco cake.