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Friday, October 31, 2008

Boo!

Ooh, Happy Halloween everybody!
I love to post on October 31st! So much raucous good fun!

This is where I would insert the festive pictures, artfully arranged and lit of course, of our jack-o-lantern team... if I had been able to find my camera last night after we finished carving them. Maybe later, I guess.

And this is where I would put a picture of the cute costume that I'm wearing to work to show that I am a bean counter with a sense of whimsy as well as a desire to be a team player. IF I was wearing anything more festive than pumpkin earrings and a pin that says BOO! And, oh yeah, can't find my camera anyway.

And ladies and gentlemen, here is where I would tell you about my elaborate plans to foil the little $hithead juvenile criminals that steal my awesome pumpkins off our porch and smash them in the street just to prove that they are stronger than large vegetables. Is it possible to run a little 'juice' through the jack-o-lanterns so their boxers sizzle a little when they pick one up? Not that my pumpkins are all that special this year because I just wasn't feeling the juju, but the mental picture of a pumpkin thief trying to run with his gangsta jeans zapped down to his ankles lightens my mood a bit.

And finally here is where I would put cute pics of my sweet daughters dressed in their adorable little Halloween costumes... except that 'little' is the only term that applies to their costumes and I don't think the internet creeps need to see photos of Hoochie Fairy Girl and Slutty Deviless... even if their overly judgemental mother had a camera.

As I was getting ready for work this morning, Homer declared his desire that we dress up in costumes tonight.
For...?
To answer the door and pass out candy, he says.
Okey dokey, dude. You dig out your cowboy costume and I'll dress up as the bitchy accountant... just like every day.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think you are a judgemental mom. Just doing your job.

How's everything in the homefront? Hope you get that nap this weekend. g

Noanie said...

I am so LMAO! I do endorse the "juicing" of the pumpkins though. I absolutely hate when they do that! I live in a neighborhood now where no one does that but previous homes had my pumpins smashed to smitherines. Sad, so so sad.
I'll be posting pics of me dressed up to give out candy - hey, I can't help it - I AM a big kid (and a Virgo - it explains a lot!)
Have fun!

Lori said...

Glad I have boys, they just want to be cowboys and pirates and stuff. We live out in the boonies and as such do not have trick or treaters at our house, or pumpkin smashers either. I am dressed as a bitchy accountant today too! As I am every day. But today I added the BOO pin also! I am sooo festive. I work in the "Old Town" part of our town and we have a trick or treat thing for the kids. Last year we had almost 1000 of the little buggers. At least I don't have to work this afternoon, just hand out candy.

Kat said...

GAWD I so hope you find your camera so I can see a pic of you and Homer dressed up - lmao!

Me - turning the lights off and ignoring the trick or treaters - I feel that Bah Humbug mood coming...

Tracie said...

That's why hubby put our jacks in the garage last night-so they'd still be around to see Halloween!

I think halloween give girls an excuse to dress slutty when they wouldn't any other time!

Shanna said...

LOL what? You don't want to be the slutty French maid?? ;)
I bet your girls are adorable and you're right...if you do decide to post pictures of them you should only post from the waist up. Wait. Maybe the neck up ;)
Have a GREAT Halloween! I'm doing the walking around the neighborhood with the kids THEN coming home AND passing out candy. The Man is at work tonight :P Yay me! Oh well...more candy for me when the kids go to bed! :)

Debbie said...

That is too funny! I hope you have a good evening. We are down to our last trick-or-treater, which is making me sad.

Nadine Hightower said...

Alice and the Mad Hatter??
Rich man and the PlayboyBunny??

Prisoner and the Warden's Wife...there's handcuffs....ooooohhhh but I never get to be the Warden's Wife!!!

The Lady in Pearls said...

I'm scootin' over. Will you hurry with the wine please? I just got my property tax bill and it's over $500 more than last year! Hurry Jane.......And bring pics of you and Homer. I need some humor right about now!

R U Serious?? said...

Darn it!! You already have a costume? I finally came up with a good one for you. Dye your hair blue, wear a white dress and go as a stick of Ban deordorant!! Huh?? Oh, it will wash right out.... I think!?!?

Have a spooky one and guard those pumpkins!

Shana said...

I think the juicing is a good idea!!

meg said...

I have the same costume on today- sans the earring & "Boo" pin, because I'm a big ole Halloweenie Scrooge (I know, I'm mixing my holidays & metaphors- sue me :-P)
Dragging the Prince out of bed next time was just the suggestion I hollered at the King's backside as he scooted out the door to make his bus on time- you would think after twenty years together, he'd know that wasn't my forte.

j said...

Loved the pics! Sorry 'bout them peepers. Visine gets the R.L. out!

Diane said...

This made me laugh out loud. And it reminded me of the 2 college girls I saw walking home from their Halloween party... at 11am today... dressed as, well, I can only guess, hookers. Let's just say it's a good thing it was warm today. They were wearing so little, they would have been under-dressed at the beach... were it not for the 5 inch f*ck-me pumps and thigh high stockings. Geez. After expressing my shock and surprise at seeing them walking down the street in broad daylight, I had to explain what a hooker was to my 9-year-old (it was out of my mouth before I remembered she was in the car). Lordy, lordy. The worst thing, though? It became clear to me that I have gotten old and prudish. Sigh.

MizAngie said...

Interesting - I dressed up as that bitch that works in the athletic office...AGAIN!! 13th year in a row!!!

Shanna said...

ROFL You just made my morning! My daughters have yelled similar embarassing vagina woes in the store all the while holding it and acting like they were mortally wounded. LOVELY, right?

Laoch of Chicago said...

Disappointing lack of photos!

Paige said...

I am all in favor of taking advantage of our natural attributes--I myself was bitchy lawyer

sleepdeprivedmomma said...

LMAO!! I told Hubby, when he asked, that my costume for Halloween was "Overwhelmed Nursing Student, Mother and Wife, trying desperately to hold onto her last nerve". Yup, I think that was it exactly. He started to say something, closed his mouth and kept it that way for the rest of the ride to his Mother's house. Smart man, at times.