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Monday, January 26, 2009

The stomach gods are very angry

Sorry to be so scarce lately but I'm suffering from a right rocky case of the Tournament Flu - so-called because of its 'double elimination' aspect. These last few days my energy has been focused entirely on such decisions as: should I drive the porcelain bus or ride it? Where exactly in the human body, is the continental divide that determines which way it's going to 'go'? And has anyone fallen head first into a toilet and drowned or will I be the first?

I'll return when it no longer feels like I ate a meal of push pins with a chaser of battery acid.

36 comments:

Laoch of Chicago said...

sending you digestive healing vibes

Diane said...

Ick. Feel better soon!!! You're missed!

Debbie said...

Oh mercy. Not much worse than that. I hope you are all well soon.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

My entire family went through this a couple of weeks ago. even the dogs.

lisa said...

Poor girl....feel better. On the up side, I bet you're 5 lbs. lighter.

Pat said...

Its awful, grand daughter, hubby and Hayden has had it. Hayden had it twice!!! Poor little guy, all he can have is clear liquids and jello and he keeps asking for something to eat!!! If its any help in this painful time of yours Hubby lost 10 pounds!! Now thats a lot of S---!!!! Me , Nope nothing and all three of them threw up on me? Well, didn't mean to ramble but I did want you to know I hope you feel better soon. they were sick for about 10 hours!!! Ouch! Ok, didn't mean to ramble just know I hope how soon it passes!!

Sheri and George said...

Sorry to hear this.My entire family just left my house last week with strep and the flu. I feel your pain.
Get well soon.

g said...

Oh, man. That stinks. Praying for healing, g

Mary Moore said...

OMG, I know I shouldn't laugh, but that was funny. Feel better!

Tracie said...

Ohhhh! I'm sorry! Hope you get to feeling better soon!

jill said...

oooooo....not fun....

get better soon!

MizAngie said...

Man, that's a bitch!
Now your 'roids will surely itch.
I hate it when ya puke s'much,
That to the toilet you weakly clutch.
So may your t-p be two ply,
Your air freshener be close by.
Tis sad it was us you shun
Because of bodily function.
I,too,have suffered out the butt,
But not the other due to my cast-iron gut.

Get well soon.

Miss Thystle said...

Poor Janey! Feel better!

Jan said...

So sorry to hear about the sickness. I am so trying not to participate in any of that type of activity. The other night in the ER with my daughter we were passing the antimicrobial gel back and forth. Wish me luck in that indeavor! And of course, I hope you are feeling better soon.

Soxy Deb said...

Ride the porcelain bus and grab the trash can. Best of both worlds. I speak from experience.

Noanie said...

Oh man Jane, that's the worst. Sorry you are suffering. Hope it passes soon! And even sick you have a way with words!
Peace

Lucky Wife/Bookaholic said...

The thought of you sitting at the computer, with a little puke slober still glistening in your hair...

Yeah, go lay down we can wait til you feel better.

Jeankfl said...

I really am sorry you're sick.. Hope it finishes with you soon!

Joisey said...

fingers as well as stomach is praying...too late?

Shanna said...

Ohhhh yuck! Well if you do decide to ride the porcelin bus but then realize you missed a turn and must drive it - just be sure to have a trash can near by!

FEEL BETTER!

Nigel, Sola and Co. said...

Don't forget to throw in salt for good measure ;)

Feel better!

Shana said...

Oh, yeah, I always sit with the garbage can on my lap. That works best!!
Hope you feel better soon!!!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Poor you. Prayers for quick return to normal.

Suldog said...

Sorry for your plumbing problems, but without them we would have been denied your wonderful "push pins - battery acid" mental picture. Good graphic, that.

Domestic Goddess said...

Urgh. I can remember being in the same situation, and unlike others have suggested, did NOT have a trash can nearby...and so used the tub.

Trust me, make sure there's a garbage can nearby. Double bagged even.

Feel better soon, Jane!

BBB said...

Oh my! I hope that you are feeling better soon. That sounds absolutely horrific.

lizspin said...

It's not fair!!! Did Hubby get it too??? (I secretly hope so!!!)

j said...

Oh poor Jane. Get well quick!
j

MaDukes said...

Oh poor Jane -- Soxy Deb took the words right out of my mouth...
Sit down and pull the waste basket over.
We are working on a project this weekend and no way, no how am I going to Home D*pot with my man. If I somehow am made to do so, I will find a way to lose him in the crowd and wait outside.
Feel better Jane...
Deb

Mayberry Magpie said...

Hi there. I just found you from So Not June Cleaver. Love your blog.

My family fell like dominoes with this bug over Christmas. Fortunately, we managed to keep it at one orifice each. Didn't matter, though. My 13-year-old son still doesn't manage to hit the toilet. Toddler vomit is one thing. Teenager vomit? This was not in the contract.

Eudea-Mamia said...

Oh, I'm sooo sorry!

To make myself feel better in these type of situations, as soon as I'm done, I step on the scale.

A little silver lining, if you will.

Feel better soon!!

Lorrie Veasey said...

Saltines. Popsicles. Cinnamon sugar on toast.

Poof!

Complete wellness, or at the very least--vomit that is purple and tastes like grape.

You're welcome.

g said...

Any better, Sweetie?

thesleepdeprivedmomma said...

always ride!!! You can usually puke into the tub from the seat on the throne but shitting on the wall is just BAD!

Kat said...

Boy it must suck to be you. Hope you feel better soon.

Noanie said...

Hope you are feeling better - that stuff is going around work now and I'm just waiting my turn.
Peace