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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The disrespect for authority comes from her father's side.

Longtime Jane followers are familiar with the dating games that surround school dances here in You-tah. The story of last year's winter formal explains it all.

This picture from last homecoming gives you the 10-second version of the tradition:

Cute invitation idea + cute answer delivery = dance date.

So much cuteness! I guess it uses up all the creativity that we directed towards scoring Boone's Farm, vodka and a room at the Holiday Inn for the post-dance parties back in my day. I can't tell you how many times a day I thank God that I am not the parent of myself.

Well, winter formal has rolled around again -which is girl's choice - and Omega set her sites on going with Mr. Bigmanoncampus. Only one problem: she was summoned to the vice-principal's office where he informed her that she has been accused of running from a hall monitor. At Omega's high school students are fined $5 if they are caught in the hallways during class so sometimes they try to outrun the law.

VP: I have a report that you ran from a hall monitor.

O: Are you kidding? I never ran from a hall monitor. When?

VP: After lunch yesterday.

O: No way. Check my attendance. I have no tardies in that class.

VP: Sometimes the teachers don't report it.

O: I have Mrs. Analretentive that period. She would NOT have missed it.

VP: Well, I'd like to believe you but the hall monitor is quite positive.

O: How did he know it was me.

VP: He picked you out of the yearbook.

O: From seeing the back of me.... running away?

VP: Yes.

O: Whatever. Do you want me to just pay the $5?

VP: I'm afraid it is beyond that. I have to suspend you.


VP: It's a mandatory one-day suspension which also means you can't cheer at the playoff game tomorrow.

O: No way.

VP: How can I contact one of your parents?

O: *mumble, mumble* figure it out youself...

VP: Well, here's your suspension notice.

Omega looks at the form which has several violations checked off. One of which is 'disrespect of authority'. And in the comments section it says "Mr. Bigmanoncampus says YES to winter formal." Whereupon Mr. BMOC jumps out of the closet, video camera in hand.

As Omega is telling me the story, all I can think is 'where did this child come from?'

I asked her how it happened that she did not either cry or wet her pants because I am pretty sure that at 16, I would have done both... probably even at 50. What? Vice principals are scary!

She said that she had a feeling she was being punked but when Mr. VP said she would have to miss the football game she almost got teary.

As for her date... if I were him, I would be very afraid.


Diane said...

That's hysterical! And pretty cool for a VP to go along with it. And good for her for *mumble, mumbling* ;)

Kat said...

I would have REALLY gotten suspended for using foul language and telling him where to stick his suspension... Good thing I'm not the mother to myself either...

Shupe said...

OMFG! That is brilliant! Poor Omega though- but yes, she is a trooper! GOD LOVE HER!

damn, I miss your house-

when ya callin me over for rita's and making fun of her some more?

I'm up for makeup and hair!!

Anonymous said...

I'm with you...be afraid, be very afraid!

I love hearing the dance ask and accept/decline stories! So many memories LOL

Super creative though!!

Shana said...

Here I was ready to defend her and tell you what a stupid school she goes to. --Yearbook picture, back of head-- but that is brilliant !!!

Tracie said...

OMG that is SO funny! Poor Omega! I was just starting to think what the hell kind of school is she going to. Yea that boy better be very afraid - paybacks are a dish best served cold! & the VP too! LOL

Soxy Deb said...

That is probably the MOST creative way to answer an invite I have ever heard. And to get the VP involved??!! I too would have peed in my pants. No doubt.

As I am said...

WOW. That's fantastic. How creative was that on Mrbigmanoncampus's part. I'm sure your daughter was Thrilled.

Pat said...

did you say that video taped this? how good would that be to watch?
God Love her, she did good, I would have been suspended longer. LOL Love hearing about the girls.
have a great day. hugs, Pat

Debbie said...

I just can't believe any of this. First, that kids that age are that creative. Have mercy - how will they ever find some great way to top this and pop the question? Then, that the administration goes along with this. The whole thing is wonderful. Too wonderful.

Miss Thystle said...

right, so in MY day, lo, these many years past, dance dates came as mumbled "if you're not, like, you know, going with, like anyone, I could like, kind of pick you up or like something".

I'm shocked Omega didn't smack the crapola out of Mr. Big.

Noanie said...

Ph man! I wonder how much sleep those kids lose thinking up ways to ask the girls to the dance and then responding in kind. Yeesh!

BTW, I did get suspended for yelling across the lawn of an all girls catholic high school, "Jesus Christ, where the hell have you been!!"

The Lady in Pearls said...

WOW! That Mr. BMOC is a clever one, isn't he? If this is what those You-tahn's do for a dance how the heck to they propose marriage?

As a former Boone's Farm connoisseur myself, how the heck did we end up with such good kids?

Angie Ledbetter said...

What a cool local custom. Hope it spreads. (I'd have had a heart attack in the VPs office before I ever read the suspension slip.)

meg said...

OMG! I would have cold-cocked the little bastardo, then gone to the bathroom to change my drawers & repair my makeup :-P

Cindy said...

Just reading the words 'Boone's Farm' made my head go all whirly.


Jeankfl said...

I'm with Meg...Smackdown! I probably wouldn't have even READ the silly thing til I got outside, crying!! I don't know if I would have survived doing this in highschool..

JennyD said...

Man, it's really different what kids can say to a VP today and still be alive. Not that what she said was all that bad, it was just that back in my day, I would have lost my tongue and been expelled. Wheww, we couldn't get away with that. But I'm like you, I would have lost control and broken down and cried...lol, so girly girly.
Those invitation were great. And the BMOC was even better! I LIVED for those dances. We were bad, though. We used to make up Purple Passion, put it in giant jugs and hide it in the car. An hour into the dance, everyone's eyes were rollin' sideways. One yr, I must have lost it completely. Apparently I'd invited a dozen people to my house for brunch the next day. Can you imagine my mother's face when all these kids showed up and she had no idea? And I was still dead asleep. Other than getting grounded, lol, my dear old gal of a mom started opening cans of soup and making hot dogs -- well, what did I expect. There we were, me in my bathrobe and eyes at half mast, and 12 other people (2 I didn't even know) sitting at the table, still half drunk, and eating soup and hot dogs. She's never let me forget it. Definitely the good old days. Later :D xoxoxo

BBB said...

What a hoot!! I woulda peed my britches too just for being CALLED to the VP's office. I was such a wuss.

How cool that Mr. BMOC accepted the invitation. Sounds like a smart young man.

j said...

Oh, man that is great! It had to be the Boones Farm. We were nowhere near that creative. Of course, there has been thirty years to practice and perfect deception. That is scary.
Oh BTW you are the recipient of the first annual j's EGGSZACKLY award! I am glad to bestow this honor upon you for correctly identifying photos of an economic cold front! Congratulations!
Hang in there MsJane.

Anonymous said...

Well, FOR SURE she shouldn't get the room at the Holiday Inn since the guy was a jerk. A funny jerk, but still... Besides, Holiday Inns should be reserved for prom night.

Am I helping?

Anonymous said...

Catching up comment deux: Oh, boy. I think that my problem with authority would have actually gotten me that detention! So unfair! Is that boy very afraid? I hope so............g