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Monday, December 15, 2008

Christmas Chrazy

It's been an action-packed last few days in Jane!world. First I have to tell you that last night I swear I dreamed an entire movie! Have you ever done that? It was like I was on a road trip with some crazy lady through Dukes of Hazzard land. I think there might have even been commercials because I got up and went to the bathroom somewhere in the middle. Today I keep having flashbacks. Bee-zar!

What I think you might be proud to know is that I currently have a cleaned, rearranged and partially decorated living room that includes.... a tree! A Christmas tree! With lights!! Yeah, no decorations yet but soon... like tonight! Maybe. Think I'm rushing it?

Of course when I went to bed last night Omega had homework sprawled all over the living room floor. And this morning Homer was working from the recliner, with piles of papercrap ev. ry. where.
Why is it that family members always gravitate to the cleanest spot in the house? Are they like spiders that get a little spidey sense alert that there's a hole in their web? I guess they feel the need to cover over that offensive little spot of clean with their junk. Or maybe they worry that too much neatness might bring me out of my crazy momentarily and then who knows what I might get into.

So the tree happened yesterday and Saturday night I baked some cookies! I know! Christmas cookies! And before that I spent SIX HOURS AT THE MALL! Shopping! Which I didn't think was going to happen because when I woke up Saturday morning there was almost a blizzard going outside. We don't get wind with our snow very often... okay it wasn't Midwest kind of wind... but I was shocked to see snow coming down unvertically. Big deal you say, but we ended up getting a good, heavy 6" of the stuff and it kept snowing and melting and freezing and snowing some more all day. And it's STILL below freezing. Okay, that's my weather whine.

But, trooper that I am, I made it all over the mall and to the Target and B3 and even Wlmrt, where I didn't find anything, thank goodness, because the lines were long and harsh looking. Sadly, I still have MUCH to do.

So... since this seems to be a backward blog, that brings us to Friday... when I went to see the ear specialist. I told the kindly old guy about my ear infections 2 1/2 weeks ago and how I feel fine but I CANNOT HEAR. And then he told me that eustachian tubes are sometimes tricky to unblock and maybe it could take 3 to 5 weeks for it all to clear. I thought I was going to cry. I waffled between accepting what he said and flinging myself onto the floor in a full fledged tantrum screaming "I NEED to HEAR!!!" Luckily, I was wearing my most favorite suede blazer which I would never allow to touch medical flooring. And really, if you take your jacket off before you start a pounding/screaming floor tantrum, I think it takes away some credibility. So good sense prevailed and I settled instead for a tirade.

I told the good doctor that I CANNOT HEAR and when I say that I do not mean that I need to turn up the volume, I mean that turning the volume up does NO good because what does come through mostly makes no sense to my brain. I told him that there is much noise in my head that shouldn't be there. I hear whooshing. I hear chimes. I hear tones... NO, I don't hear voices... which is the problem. I cannot watch tv or listen to the radio, which is extremely hard for an audio multitasker like me. I wanted to mention that I couldn't even blog much because I am stuck in my own little world which is about as exciting as cardboard. I did tell him that people at home and work are getting, frankly, quite sick of the whole thing. Which is a whole 'nother post I could write but who needs all that bitterness during the holidays. He decided to get the audiologist to test my hearing. You know... so he could tell me I was over-reacting.

Half hour later he brings in the results of the hearing test. I have significant hearing loss. Of the six or so ranges/pitches of hearing, I have ONE range in ONE ear that is within the normal parameters. You know that old joke about the guy who had 'I told you I was sick' written on his headstone? That is how I felt. Like I certainly didn't want this awful, crappy news but at least I was finally being taken seriously. The doctor (who is the deparment head of a large medical institution) was stumped and is sending me to a neuro-otologist today. This is where I did start to tear up. He consoled me by telling me that I would be a good candidate for a cochlear implant which started a full fledged cry on.
But I got over it quickly because when I got back to work the news there was even harder to take. Budget cuts to be made. Serious cuts that could affect jobs.

I really didn't plan this very well. I sort of fell into the backwards reporting method accidentally and now I see that from a feel good perspective, this wasn't the best route. Oh wait!! I do have good news! My dad got out of the hosptial Friday morning and is feeling good and eating well. Well, eating my mother's cooking isn't exactly well but... Yay Daddy!


Diane said...

Yay for your dad!! Sucks about your hearing! I mean, SUCKS ABOUT YOUR HEARING!! My brother is deaf and I can sign... want me to teach you? We can cover all the good swear words first. Even if no one else knows what you're saying, it'll make you feel better... trust me on this one. It's how I got through the last 5 years of my marriage.

Debbie said...

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry to hear about your hearing. I'm glad there is some solution for you - if you choose to do it. What a bummer.
Good thing your fashion sense prevailed over your hissy-fit throwing.

JennyD said...

God, Jane, this is awful about your hearing. I was hoping by now it was going to be clearing up. Did they say no to tubes? Maybe that wouldn't work in your case, I don't know. Geez, I'm sorry. When you got to the part about the surgery you'd be a good candidate for, well, my uhhh, brain went a little off track. You can figure that one out, but let it be said it's obvious I must be needing a "social life", lol.
You made cookies! That shows you how long I was away. The last time I read anything about your kitchen was when the oven hadn't worked for so long. Guess you have no excuse now, right?
Christmas shopping: I'm not NEAR finished and should be doing it right now. Slug, I am; but I'm going to drag my arse out the door in under an hour and start again.
That was good news about your dad and I hope he just gets better and better.
Ok, I think I'll read "one more time" about your possible surgery and let my little x-rated mind run rampant. Later :D

Shana said...

Yay about your dad.
Really sorry about the hearing, ear thing! That sucks a big, hairy ... well, you know what I mean!!

Gina (Mannyed) said...

Wow you got all that news about your ear and still managed to get the shopping done; baking done; and the tree semi done? I bow down to you! I hope you get some good news about your ears very soon!

Soxy Deb said...

Yay for daddy. That was kinda fun going through your weekend backwards. Does that mean that it's Friday night again? Yay! Another weekend. Loves it!

Anonymous said...

That's too bad about your hearing...hey maybe you could get a handicap sign to hang in your car so you can park closer??? That's called optimism, right there. See how I did that? :)

Glad for your dad though!!

And right back to the job cuts...I really hope you aren't affected by it! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Jeankfl said...

Wow.. you've been busy! Yea! for Daddy..
I hear you on the ears.. I haven't been able to hear out of one for about 3 months now, after an infection! So much for time doing it.. I'm now doing peroxide three times a day.. sucks. Sounds like you are (or should be) right on the edge.. Breathe deeply and it will all eventually turn out ok.. just might take a little while. Prayers going at ya!

Anonymous said...

Oh, my. Uh. I don't know what to say. g

Nadine Hightower said...

Yeah Dad!!! That's great news!!

Pat said...

First let me say great news about your Dad. The news about your ear suck though!! Hopefully the implant will help. So job cuts are in your world too huh? Its been a bad year all the way round, but hey we could have had shoes thrown at us??? and called dog!!! What a mess we are in!! Let hurry and get to 2009 and one can only hope it will be better. Love that you got your tree up. I did wreaths that it for this year no ladder for me this year. Take care and hope everything turns out ok. Hugs, Pat

The Lady in Pearls said...

I guess I need to get my hearing, er...eyesight, checked too! At first I thought you said they were sending you to a neurologist. And I was so glad. Well not glad, but relieved. Because I thought surely anyone that cleaned, baked, decorated and shopped with all of this going on - needed her head checked! Slow down, would you? You're making the rest of us look bad........

meg said...

I think just lights on a tree make a minimalist statement- just stars shining thru the branches like Luther wanted (I thin it was him)- much classier than all that clutter with ornaments.
I have progressive hearing loss, so I do understand that fuzzy-head-voices-going-whaa-whaa-whaa-like-a-Peanuts-cartoon feeling; sincere prayers for techno-miracles on your behalf.
Great news on your Dad!

Anonymous said...

Wait just a second...

You're having dreams about Shupe and you on a roadtrip through the deep south, and your worried about your hearing? I'm just sayin'...

I am sorry to hear about the ear issues. Try not to stress before you hear from the neurologist. Until then, it's all guessing and things like this usually have a way of working out ok. Have faith.

Small Footprints said...

Great about your Dad!!

I know it's easier said than done ... but ... try not to stress about the hearing thing yet. I think doctors have become alarmists ... last Christmas my mom had a "thing" which the doctors freaked out about and had her going thru all kinds of tests ... big, expensive, ugly tests ... right over the holidays. They scared her, telling her that it might ... well probably ... is the big "C" word. Turns out it was nothing ... just an over cautious doctor. It's wonderful that doctors are thorough but ... she had a rough few months. So .. this is all to say ... it might not be something terrible (and I'm really hoping that it isn't).

Hang in there!

Small Footprints

Anonymous said...

Goodness. Could you hear before the ear infucktion?

Glad your dad is better.

Shupe said...

:( pouty face over here!
I'm so glad to hear about your father- great news there-

but second- the numbnuts in the medical arena playing bball.
WTF? I hate when they don't listen to the patient. Drives me batty.
I would have held your coat for you and then joined you- (yes after I hung it up for you)

Keep in touch-
good news............
Phone has text messaging
I too know sign!
Emails take no hearing
and seeing you face to face- we can just laugh at how dumb I am! You don't even have to hear any stories- we just know the facts on that one darling!

thesleepdeprivedmomma said...

Glad to read your dad is home and very sad to read your hearing has been affected by the nasty infection. Worried for you with the job thing but I'm convinced you're gonna come out on top. Happy to read you have a tree up. I still have a messy a$$ living room, though I bought a small pre-lit artificial hoping it would motivate me. NOPE!
Hope your family decides to pitch in to keep your home happy and clean for you this holiday season. Otherwise, I say it's perfectly fair to bake cookies and then withhold them until a clutter-free state emerges in whatever room they've decided to roost in.

Noanie said...

You know I tried all day yesterday to get here, but when I came by on my visits it kept showing your entry about PA and the underwear - what's up with that?

Anyway, glad to hear about your dad being on the mend, but I am totally bummed about your hearing. Will you be making a visit to another doctor for a second opinion? Definitely take Diane up on learning to sign the swear words - I'd take her up on it just so I could curse out my boss!
You are in my prayers.

Kelly said...

Hmm, sounds like the doc was giving you the worst case scenario on that one. I'm not going to tell you not to worry though, because that kind of advice never helps me.

Hey, I'm deaf in my left ear...have been since birth. Until you get this hearing thing worked out, we have something in common. ;)

Laoch of Chicago said...

I have been trying to direct and script my dreams but sadly my subconscious never seems to deliver!

Laoch of Chicago said...

My mom had an implant. It worked quite well for her. I hope that whatever is causing your damage will recede and you will soon again hear soothing sounds.

gail said...

Well? How'd it go? hugs, g