I love these people!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Time for a defrag?

I know it’s been a while since I put in my nickel’s worth. It’s not like I haven’t tried. If you could see my post list you would certainly notice the pile of discarded drafts. Several times I have started writing and somehow the sentences all fell apart. It wasn’t blogger’s block… I had plenty to say. I just couldn’t seem to string seven coherent words together manner in which sense they make. I know. How sad is that?

So, in an effort to get my groove back, I’m going to try to dump all my frustrations from the weekend and see if that will clear up some space on my mental hard drive. Cross your fingers because 5 days without posting has left me off balance and rocking a major case of mental constipation.

What is currently deranging Jane:

The people at the Greek-Letter Airline - I understand that it was probably oversight that allowed me to book a flight using sky miles – at the lowest level even - in the first place. But don’t worry; my non-faith in The Triangle was restored when I tried to get back to my reservation. I realize that I might be a tiny bit picky, but please don’t SAY you’ll be right with me when you won’t, don’t expect me to know to input a reference number in a field that says confirmation number, and just DON’T put the letter O in the middle of a bunch of numbers and expect me to figure out that it is an O and not a 0! My email font and my visual acuity are not that discriminating. Bonus question: What percentage of pesky callers are you able to eliminate by using the phone tree/eternal hold torture?

Slick, the appliance salesman - Stop yammering and listen to what I want. Quit spewing script and answer my questions with real answers – this is dishwashing, not politics. Cease the nagging and forget about the extended warranty because I WILL NOT BUY IT NO MATTER HOW ‘FREE’ IT IS OR HOW YOU TRY TO SCARE ME. Just stop the lip flap NOW because if my head explodes, NONE of your fancy washing machines will get the brain stain out of your pristine, white liar’s shirt.

Husband – I appreciate your willingness to cook dinner for the family… but every day does not need to be a food channel gourmet episode. We are simple, hungry women. We would rather have grilled cheese and tomato soup at 6:30 than coq au vin at 8 o’clock. Food crunchies, mystery proteins and vegetable adventures are not cool. Sorry we are such culinary simpletons.

Boss - *This is where I would have much to say about my current workish frustrations IF I could afford to be dooced at this particular time… which I cannot.*

Co-workers - *This is where I would name the person that should be voted off the work island.*

Neighbor – Stop lying down in the middle of the freeway and then complaining that you have been run over! Seriously, self esteem IS for sale and your insurance will cover it!

Daughter1 – Don’t turn in your dirty clothes at 6pm on Sunday night and then complain that nothing is clean on Monday morning. That doesn't even give me time to refold the clothes that aren't really dirty, spray them with fabric freshener and put them back on your shelf.

Self – Ditch the needies (aka family) and get thee to the optical shop! It will not be pretty if you end up driving half blind through a dark semi-unfamiliar city. It was your one dam job for the weekend and you called in too busy. Tick tock… all I’m going to say there…

Okay... that's all I'm going to say period. :o)

11 comments:

Miss Thystle said...

Seriously. What is WITH kids? Mine does the same thing and I do the same as you.

Shanna said...

You have no idea how glad I was to read that you knew what being Dooced was! PHEW. I would have warned you though. I got'cher back like that.

Don't you love crazy neighbors? LOL

Angie Ledbetter said...

I so enjoyed that, and feel ever so better about my pet peeves now. Maybe I'll list them in a blog post soon. :)

Shana said...

You are funny. I agree with every complaint.
Except for the laundry one, which should be, plain and simple: "Do your own laundry!!" She is 19!!!! isn't she???

Diane said...

I feel better now. Hope you do! I've missed you!

PS... the whole laundry thing cracked me up... I'm still picturing your kid wearing the snotty sweatshirt ;)

Noanie said...

Seriously Jane, you need to teach those girls how to turn the dials on the washer and do their own laundry! And that's all I'm gonna say!

MIzAngie said...

Oh. Uh. Well...

I thought the I Heart Barbie blog was a little more uplifting...

Lorrie Veasey said...

Yeah: what she said!

Debbie said...

That seemed like excellent therapy. Good for you. Plus, I feel better just living vicariously through you.

meg said...

Feel better now I hope~ I've missed your sunny dispositon :-)

The Lady in Pearls said...

Why does my "defragging" come off sounding like I'm bitchin' and you come off as funny? How fair is that?