Well, it's Monday and I have survived the weekend with the in-laws. Luckily Alpha talked them into staying another day so that they could watch her basketball game tonight. Remind me to reward that girl with something like....oh...maybe a new...hmm...place to live?
Actually, in my complete panic last week, I may have given you the wrong idea. Although, I do not like anyone to see my house in it's usual condition, let alone Mrs. USA-Housecleaning a.k.a. my mother-in-law, I really don't mind a visit from Homer's parents. In fact, if I could send my family away and take a week off work, make that TWO weeks off, to clean my house from top to bottom until it resembles the pristine condition of their house, then I would actually WELCOME a visit from the in-laws.
True, Mrs. USA-Housecleaning does have a few sharp spots on her tongue. But, the new, improved, crazy-minimized Jane just lets it roll. My MIL will never get over the fact that the girls spend less time with them during the annual trip to From-Where-We-Came than with my people (have I mentioned that each and everyone of both our families live all together in another part of the country?). This is because Homer's side of the family is TWO people - Gma and Gpa. That's it. Jane's side, however, is Gma, Gpa, uncles, aunts, a godmother, many cousins and several very good summer friends - all of which Alpha and Omega want to spend time. Now mine is not an enormous family by any means but surely you can do the math. Mrs USA-Housecleaning only sees that she DOES NOT GET EQUAL TIME with the 'other side'...the dark side....the *gasp* Lutheran side. And I know that I will never find the words to make her see what everyone else can CLEARLY see. So I just switch the subject to baked goods. She loves to talk a good recipe.
Another advantage I have is that my in-laws do seem to like me. They realize that a weaker woman would probably have plopped their son right back on their doorstep years ago. I have not only allowed him to stay but have made several improvements. I do love a good fixer-upper. The very last time Homer dared to utter the words "my mom used to do that for me", I promptly rung her up and asked if she would take him back. Her actual words cannot be posted here but the gist was that he's mine now to do with as I see fit.
As for the ants, not a one dared to show its face but one of my dear little tattletales DID tell Mrs USA-Housecleaning about the briefcase incident. Turns out she is quite freaked out by ants so I couldn't help but throw in Meg's tale of the ant in her ear. She was still shuddering over that last night. Cool. Thanks, Meg.
Anyhoodle, I did, in fact get the bathroom cleaned on Saturday morning. By myself. Homer had a meeting..... yeah, uh huh, sure. And my garbage disposal is fixed. Turns out my father-in-law has decided to become evolved. He no longer has a problem with women doing 'manwork'. He not only sat comfortably on the couch while I worked on the disposal, the good man kept my laptop warm - for hours.
So the men in my life may have let me down, but the internet did not. Thank you WorldWideWonderWeb for containing all the info necessary to unjam a garbage disposal WITHOUT having to stick my hand into the sickness. IN FACT, the W-4 told me not to, under ANY circumstances, put my hand in there. I liked that advice. Turns out, that you can just stick an allen wrench-type thingy in the bottom of the disposal - underneath the sink - and turn it until you clear the problem. Wow! Who knew?!
I did make the in-laws Thai food on Saturday night, which they had NEVER in their long lives had before. They seemed to like it and even talked about VISITING a Thai restaurant at home.....IF I would write down what they had so they would know what to order. I suppose when you get to be 80ish you don't want to waste your time and money ordering the wrong thing at a restaurant. Especially when you don't have all that much time and your bossy daughter-in-law keeps urging you to make your money last for as long as possible.
Oy! Can you even imagine if Mrs. USA-Housecleaning became destitute and had to come live with us full time???? She would die of a broken dustmop, I fear.