Okay,
I've gone and shot off my mouth to the point that people think I am some kind of neat freak.
Well, the freak part is right.
As far as neat goes, I am really conflicted.
I would love to be able to say screw it - my house is what it is!
But... I really do like a clean house.
But... I really don't have the inner commitment to keep a house up to my own standards.
Or my mother-in-law's. But that issue has taken the interstate out of town.
Thank you Dwight D. Eisenhower.

So 'hire the cleaning done', you say.
Good idea.... but then you get a whole new set of stress.
Say the Happy Housekeepers come on Tuesday,
well, that means on Monday night you have to make sure every family member has all their crap picked up and put away,
because Happy Housekeepers only deal with dust and dirt and fingerprints and tub rings. Or else you have to pick it up yourself.
Which is easier?
Nag it done, or do it yourself?
Usually do it yourself because typically it is just you and the cats around when cleaning needs done.
So you run around the house picking up
17 pairs of shoes, 2 backpacks, 40 pounds of blueprints and a half dozen sports bags - some of which are toxic -
as well as numerous pairs (sometimes not pairs) of socks
that apparently just fly off feet at will.
Newpapers..... phone books... blankets.... drink glasses.... empty juice boxes... wadded up Kleenexes (barf!)....
no, not real barf....
and crap,NO not real crap but,
Oh Crap as in: you never got the sheets washed from last week so there won't be clean ones to have the Happy Housekeepers put on the beds...
and on
and on.
And you can't just throw all the stuff in their rooms like you usually do because then their rooms won't get serviced by the Happy Housekeepers and that's a waste of money. Remember?
We have talked about how cheap you are?
So now, not only are you still doing all the picking up,
you are doing it on someone else's schedule,
and under pressure,
and you probably had a bad day at the office and forgot to pick up the 3 sheets of peculiar foamy stuff that your daughter needs for some ridiculous extra credit poster project and
oh shit, you are out of milk.
How can the damn calves go through a GALLON A DAY?
Why can't they just drink soda like other kids -
soda doesn't require refrigeration and can be bought in large...
unrefrigerated quantities.
And as long as they are drinking soda they might as well be playing miniature golf
which we all know leads to regular golf and
pretty soon they are mainlining smack.
All because you had to go and hire the Happy Housekeepers.

Well, aren't you proud of your-self!