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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Party Gras!

Guess what? The keys were found. The keys were actually found on Friday and turned in to the school lost and found - because Omega's high school is awesome like that. But because she left the car at school and went to her friend's house to take a nap before the evening basketball game, she didn't even know they were lost until too-late-the-office-is-locked o'clock.

Why Homer and Omega couldn't find them on Saturday when a coach let them into the office to peruse the lost and found is anyone's guess, but I suspect it has something to do with kid vision. Yes, some cases are known to linger into the 50's. Have I ever mentioned that I'm married to a visual savant? That man can spot a freshly hatched baby antelope 2 miles off the Wyoming freeway, but cannot see a bright red water jug sitting in the middle of the kitchen counter. I'm not sure how this will play out in his senior years but I'm thinking I should start shopping for a camouflage patterned toilet.

But I digress. Today is Fat Tuesday in case you missed the memo. Mardi Gras! Here is where I would put the picture of the totally adequate King's Cake I was up baking until way past my bedtime:

And, look here at the BestDogintheWorld wearing her beads (It's only natural that she have beads since she runs around flashing her boobies 24/7):

Shucky-darn, forgot my camera. You will just have to take my word on those.

Anyway, Fat Tuesday, like all good things, comes at a price. Tomorrow starts Lent, and for some, 40 days of self-denial among other things. Being the good little Luth-olic that I am, each year I try to find an appropriate sacrifice to go along with the rest of the family - which is Catholic - except for the dog, because of that continuously topless thing.

Lent is a yearly battle for me because I SUCK at willpower. I am usually torn between giving up something quite painful, knowing that I will probably fail miserably or picking something lightweight that I know I can do but won't leave much of a mark. Well, at least I have the Catholic guilt thing down.

So this year I am going to give up soda.
That would be pop to you Northerners.
Coke for my friends down South.
Gah! I said it. Soda is right, smack, top of my painful list. You have no idea how much I love my diet bubbly! This is going to hurt. And not just me, unfortunately.

So if you come to visit some day and find just feathers floating, you will know why.

I wonder if I should get a medic alert bracelet or something.... 'In case of loss of consciousness or atomic bitchiness, douse with Mountain Dew!'.

I understand that true Catholic style says that you aren't supposed to discuss your sacrifice, let alone probably, post it all over the internet but I have friends of all religions who do this. The Mormons are the best I tell you - I think they OWN self denial.

And, since I'm nosy like that, tell me, are you all giving up anything?

I may not get around to visiting you all today since there's a dead spot in the wi-fi down by the pop machine. You do understand the concept of Fat Tuesday, right? Indulge 'til it hurts.

If I were anything but a Norwegian American with a smattering of Spanish skills, I would put some sexy French Mardi Gras phrase right here:

It would probably start with Bon, no?


Laoch of Chicago said...

Embrace the beads

Tracie said...

I'm Methodist. So there will be not giving up of anything.

Diane said...

I'm not Luth-olic (or anything, for that matter), so I don't HAVE to give up squat. But I think, just to keep you company, I'll give up... ummmm... laundry. Hmmm... no... a bit stinky, methinks. Work? Hmmm... I'm already broke... that could be a little TOO painful. Exercise? Yeah! That works. I'm giving up exercise! For 40 whole days? Cool. 'Cause soda? Are you NUTS?!

jill said...

thanks for the warning...i'll knock before entering for the next 40 days. =D

Gina (Mannyed) said...

Wait, it's soda or coke to us Northerners...right? *Scratches head). Anyways, I gave soda last year for lent, I survived! I even continued it way after lent. I just started to go back to it recently. Damn you Coke Zero!

This year: snacks after Dinner. It probably should be snacks in general, but I'll start off small.

Suldog said...

Actually, for folks from some regions of New England, that would be "tonic". Call it that and it's easier to give up.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Happy Fat Tuesday to you too! I'm gonna try to give up most of the sweets and "take on" helping others where I can.

Laissez le bon temps roullez! (Let the good times roll!)

Anonymous said...

I want to see a picture of your boobie flashing dog.

Being Jewish, I don't have to play along. But, we've got all those other issues to contend with.

Good luck on your soda-free journey.

Sheri and George said...

Some of us Northerners call it soda and I haven't drank any for over 2 years. It ain't that hard. Every year I vow to give up swearing but damn that's hard! I think I will give up sweets. After indulging over vacation, I need to lose a few pounds
Show us the boobie flashing dog and I'll give her beads! I have tons of them I earned probably just like her!

Deedee said...

O my word - What a glorious blog! I'm Catholic, and yes, the challenge of the fast is on tomorrow- so I'm drinking more than my share of Shiraz tonight! Cheers!

Paige said...

Not Cahotlic= not giving up shit.

Mary Moore said...

I was raised Catholic, but I'm not anymore. Do I still have to do it? Please say I don't. Please? I love my potato chips too much.

Lisa said...

shucky-darn ?
i love it !!!!!

Anonymous said...

Laissez les bon temps roullez, um, bitch! {giggle} That coonass phrase is about all the French I know - other than crepe, baguet, and that song from the 70s but I can't spell all that vou les vou blah blah blah stuff.

Went to Mardi Gras in 1977. Wish I could remember it...

Shana said...

I don't have to give up anything

Lorrie Veasey said...

I'm giving up self denial.
It's gonna be 40 days of pure hedonism.
Someone has to do it.
I'll try not to get too cranky.
Gotta run-there's a sale on Diet Coke at the deli.

Kat said...

Well son of a ... Thanks for reminding me AFTER I had my smoothie this morning that I was supposed to be fasting today - grrr...

I'll join you in the giving up 'coke' for 40 days, we ought to be some peppy people by then, huh?

Soxy Deb said...

Well since I'm not the best Catholic in the history of Catholicism, I'm just giving up candy. I rarely eat candy, so that wont be too hard, but I'm not feeling guilty about the lack of sacrifice.
A real sacrifice would be to give up the liquor. But let's be honest, THAT'S not gonna happen.
So I may not be a good catholic, but I'm no liar. That's got to get me a few points.

thesleepdeprivedmomma said...

That explains Tuesday night. I completely forgot about Fat Tuesday. Ok. . . gotta go blog. I'll be back!