Dear Lazy Homeowner on 20th Street:
If you should happen to notice that your trash can is not in its usual place almost completely blocking the bike lane in front of your house, worry not, it hasn't traveled far.
I won't bore you with a lecture on how the trash collectors only visit your street on Mondays no matter how long you leave your can out, or point out that if you would park it just a little more to the IN or the the OUT it would be navigable or even snarkily remark that it has wheels for a darn good reason.
No, I will just suggest that you change out of your Italian loafers before you attempt to wrangle your curb ornament out of the irrigation canal because when it came down to making a skippy-quick decision whether to become retread on a plumbing truck or knock your trash can into next Tuesday, I chose the selfish route.
Oh, and before you go after it, you might want to make sure your shots are up to date and check for open sores because it looks fairly foul down there.
p.s. - Maybe I could have caught it.
p.p.s. - But I didn't even try.