Honestly!!

(Quite) a while back I got word from Lorna the Bathtime Blogger, that she had an award for me over at her place. I was tempted to go all lazy-crazy on her about why SHE couldn't bring it to ME, but then I started thinking about the Academy awards and Nobel prizes and how they aren't delivered, so quick as molasses, I zipped over and picked it up.... like 2 and a half weeks later.

Whew! Long sentence, huh? I better slow down on the caffeine.

So, anyway, this is the award. (What the heck is that tied around the elbow? A tourniquet from cutting the arm off?)

And although I am honored that Lorna believes me to be an honest, from-the-heart blogger, I'm also a bit exhausted from cutting and pasting and hauling it way the heck over here. And now, after reading the fine print, I see my work has just begun. The directions say I have to list ten honest things about myself (aack!) and pass the award on to seven more bloggers who write heartfelt prose. Well at least I don't have to go buy a dress and get all fussied up.

Okay... ten honest things. This could take some time.

1. I'm a total hypocrite. My hypocrisy really shines when I drive. I will fully cuss out the lady in the blue minivan for doing exactly what I did yesterday. I know it and I'm not proud of it. I just can't stop it. Even if it is completely apparent that I had a MUCH better reason for doing that thing.

2. I am freakishly attracted to shiny metallic objects. It must be the raccoon in me because I have been known to pick up hubcaps from the roadside. This does NOT apply to wearable sparklies like glitter, metallic clothing, or diamond studded handcuffs.

And here I am a week later working on #3. Told you this wasn't going to be quick.

3. I am a procrastinator. My philosophy is why do today what you might not have to do tomorrow? Seriously, what if I got mowed down by a gravel truck on April 14th? I would have totally wasted all that time I spent doing my tax returns early.

4. I think my bosses have too high opinions of me. Some days I feel like a complete poser.

5. I love having teenagers much more than I ever liked having babies or toddlers. I mean I have loved my daughters every day of their lives but frankly, they scared me until they were almost eye level.

6. I do not believe that I will ever be okay with unpainted toe nails. On myself, I mean. Even if I fall victim to the darkness of dementia, I swear that one tiny cognizant part of me will KNOW and that, my friends, will be my hell - staring down at bare, and probably fungicized, toes.

7. I like to do cross-stitch. Not exactly an action sport but it is just the therapy I need at times when nothing else in my life fits perfectly into a color-coded grid.

8. I have no sense of direction. I'm notorious for going the wrong way every time I exit a store in the mall. Luckily, I did not pass this on to my children who often have to pluck me by the shirt back and spin me a 180. I guess you can figure out why they always insist on driving.

Oh, so close, only two more! Hmm....

9. I CANNOT sing. I couldn't carry a tune even if you put it in my purse and zipped it shut. The good news is I don't sing. Unless I'm alone or wanting to hurt someone.

10. The thing that is currently scaring the $hit out of me is how fast time flies. I am often shocked and panicked by how fast Monday becomes October and tomorrow becomes two years ago. I have too much yet to do and I am not at all ready to stare at my toes!

And now.... one of the things I have to do is pass this little gem on to seven other people. Since most of you probably got this award l-o-n-g ago, hmm.... I think I will do a little research and hand out the awards in my next post.

Meanwhile, have a dang skippy weekend.

Peace, Love, Long weekend.