I love these people!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Honestly!!


(Quite) a while back I got word from Lorna the Bathtime Blogger, that she had an award for me over at her place. I was tempted to go all lazy-crazy on her about why SHE couldn't bring it to ME, but then I started thinking about the Academy awards and Nobel prizes and how they aren't delivered, so quick as molasses, I zipped over and picked it up.... like 2 and a half weeks later.

Whew! Long sentence, huh? I better slow down on the caffeine.

So, anyway, this is the award. (What the heck is that tied around the elbow? A tourniquet from cutting the arm off?)

And although I am honored that Lorna believes me to be an honest, from-the-heart blogger, I'm also a bit exhausted from cutting and pasting and hauling it way the heck over here. And now, after reading the fine print, I see my work has just begun. The directions say I have to list ten honest things about myself (aack!) and pass the award on to seven more bloggers who write heartfelt prose. Well at least I don't have to go buy a dress and get all fussied up.

Okay... ten honest things. This could take some time.

1. I'm a total hypocrite. My hypocrisy really shines when I drive. I will fully cuss out the lady in the blue minivan for doing exactly what I did yesterday. I know it and I'm not proud of it. I just can't stop it. Even if it is completely apparent that I had a MUCH better reason for doing that thing.

2. I am freakishly attracted to shiny metallic objects. It must be the raccoon in me because I have been known to pick up hubcaps from the roadside. This does NOT apply to wearable sparklies like glitter, metallic clothing, or diamond studded handcuffs.

And here I am a week later working on #3. Told you this wasn't going to be quick.

3. I am a procrastinator. My philosophy is why do today what you might not have to do tomorrow? Seriously, what if I got mowed down by a gravel truck on April 14th? I would have totally wasted all that time I spent doing my tax returns early.

4. I think my bosses have too high opinions of me. Some days I feel like a complete poser.

5. I love having teenagers much more than I ever liked having babies or toddlers. I mean I have loved my daughters every day of their lives but frankly, they scared me until they were almost eye level.

6. I do not believe that I will ever be okay with unpainted toe nails. On myself, I mean. Even if I fall victim to the darkness of dementia, I swear that one tiny cognizant part of me will KNOW and that, my friends, will be my hell - staring down at bare, and probably fungicized, toes.

7. I like to do cross-stitch. Not exactly an action sport but it is just the therapy I need at times when nothing else in my life fits perfectly into a color-coded grid.

8. I have no sense of direction. I'm notorious for going the wrong way every time I exit a store in the mall. Luckily, I did not pass this on to my children who often have to pluck me by the shirt back and spin me a 180. I guess you can figure out why they always insist on driving.

Oh, so close, only two more! Hmm....

9. I CANNOT sing.
I couldn't carry a tune even if you put it in my purse and zipped it shut. The good news is I don't sing. Unless I'm alone or wanting to hurt someone.

10. The thing that is currently scaring the $hit out of me is how fast time flies. I am often shocked and panicked by how fast Monday becomes October and tomorrow becomes two years ago. I have too much yet to do and I am not at all ready to stare at my toes!

And now.... one of the things I have to do is pass this little gem on to seven other people. Since most of you probably got this award l-o-n-g ago, hmm.... I think I will do a little research and hand out the awards in my next post.

Meanwhile, have a dang skippy weekend.

Peace, Love, Long weekend.


15 comments:

Ann said...

The weird thing is that Kiki is constantly noticing - and wanting to pick up - hubcaps from the side of the road. All I'm thinking is, can I find a way to make some money off of them??

OHN said...

#6 made me laugh and subsequently made the dog jump off the couch and run to the window.

I remember my mom telling me that when she got old, I had to promise her that I would never let her go without polish...fingers AND toes.

Ironically, today would have been her birthday and I have been thinking about her most of the day...though not about her fingers and toes :)

MizAngie said...

Do you think you could sing if you didn't have those ol' bad ears?

Make your daughters promise they'll paint your toes. I have a pact with the females in my immediate family to pluck the nasty hairs out of my chin even if they have to restrain me to do so.

Lorna said...

Okay, I'm not sorry, you cracked me and made my day. Even if you can't sing. Can I be your neighbor, lol? Thanks for the humor (and sparing me the effort of hauling the award over for you), you self-reliant-writer you!

Lorna said...

Oh sorry, I can't write today. Up, you cracked me up. I'm not an egg...

Laoch of Chicago said...

I think everyone feels like an impostor some times.

kenju said...

Excellent post! An award receipt I actually enjoyed reading!

Angie Ledbetter said...

Enjoyed the inside peek! :)

Kat said...

Well let's see, 1, 2 (well diamonds anyway) 3, 4, 6, 9 and 10... We are scaringly more alike than I thought!

Did you notice that June BOUGHT her mum? GAH!

thesleepdeprivedmomma said...

I'm TOTALLY with you on Number 10. Someday's I think time is a blessing (look how far I've come) but then I look at my 13 year high school freshman and my almost 5 year old smallish-type dictator (so think she's gonna be a dominatrix if there's not an intervention) and I can't believe they are where they are ALREADY. AGHHHHH. Jane, let me off this crazy thing.

Sheri and George said...

This is why I love reading you. Even when you are being toatlly honest about things you can find humor. Lovely way to start my day.

Harlem's A Hatin said...

I love your blog, the whole set up and design is very created. I am new to all of this and stuck with the pre-made template.

http://harlemshaterade.blogspot.com

Jeanne said...

a. Thanks for coming to visit.
b. Thanks for saying something nice while you were over.
c. What an incredibly cool blog you have.
d. 4, 8, 9 and 10 -- I'm so with you.
e. 5, not so much. I had to go back and read the fine print to believe that pixies do not come and substitute an angry 14-year-old for the adorable pre-teenager you had just a few years earlier.

Em said...

Honestly, I love your thoughts on older kiddos. The older they get (7 and 3 1/2) the cooler they get.

Glad to see the trend continues. Faster than we all want it to, regretfully.

Great list.

Tracie said...

Janie,

My area only got a trace, (thank GOD) but about an hour or so west of us got 15 inches. I would so totally have flipped mother nature off if we had gotten that much!